But that was years ago

“You’re gross.” This was what Linda said to me the other evening while discussing with Gabrielle, our youngest, why she needed to wash her hair more than once a week. It’s these little life lessons that have been popping up lately at an alarming rate that prompted Linda’s disparaging comment. Then just this morning Leah exclaimed, “I don’t need to shower, I showered Saturday.” Which, in turn, prompted another claim from Linda, “They get this from you. You’re gross.”

It’s true; I might have mentioned that back in college I won a contest to see who could go the longest without washing his hair. And I might have gone an extra week after the last of my competition fell off at week 3, just to put an explanation point on my dominance, but that was years ago. Besides, the contest was to go without washing one’s hair not go without showering. Nobody went a whole month without taking a shower.

And sure, when I was 14 my brother Cameron and our two friends John and Bryan might have gone Sunday to Sunday without showering but like I explained to Linda, “We spent every day all day swimming in their reservoir. That’s 8 hours of lake cleaning every day, which at 14, is at least as good as 5 minutes of shower cleaning.”

“I’ve never felt that clean after being in a lake,” Linda said. “You’re gross, and now our girls have taken after you.”