Watch Battery

A week or so ago I found myself in Fred Meyer, a local chain that combines groceries with apparel, yard items, and home repairs. They’re based here in Portland and seem like what Sears Roebuck might have felt like back in the 50’s. I’d heard from a co-worker that this was the place to go when one needed to replace a watch battery, a chore, which at least in our house, goes months and even years neglected. In the past I’ve always gone to one of those sketchy watch repair places located in malls. These are the kinds that line the walls with glass cases containing watches from brands that seem familiar but oddly out of place at the same time. They tend to charge outrageous prices for battery replacement and more often than not the sales person shifts to a full court press if one casts even the slightest glance toward a new watch.

“Oh, you like this new watch, eh?” asks the Middle Eastern associate. “This is good watch, very reputable brand. This is good buy right now. Is waterproof to 3,000 meters.”

“I had no idea Esprît was still around, let alone made men’s dive watches.”

“Oh, yes. This is big brand in Europe still. They are the best.”

“But 3,000 meters?” I ask. “I thought the max for any brand was more like 500 meters.”

“Europe, my friend. This is European watch. You like, I can take 5% off for you my friend. Today only.”

My past experiences more or less which explains why sometime last week Linda handed me 5 watches when I mentioned my news about Fred Meyer’s battery deals.

When I arrived I was directed to the jewelry counter where I spoke with the watch repairman. He was dressed in an antique cardigan sweater and wore thick magnifying lenses over his regular glasses. He was in his late fifties or early sixties if I were to guess and asked in a thick Asian accent, “What you need today?” I explained I was looking to have a few watch batteries replaced and he wondered how many was a few.

“Oh, all five? Yes? How about $40 total, all five?”

It really doesn’t get any better than that, does it?