Who's the pig now?

A few months ago I wrote about a contest I participated in during my college years. I was a freshman at the time, yet still, to this day, I don’t completely see what was so bad about going a few weeks without washing my hair. “I still showered every day,” I explained to Linda when first describing the contest. “I’m not even going to respond to that,” is what I think her response was.

A week ago I was talking with my brother Graham and the topic of cars came up. For some reason or another he was describing the interior of his car, leaving me speechless in the process. “I mean seriously,” he said, “I’m the only one who ever drives it so why clean it.”

“Umm,” and before I could put actual words together he continued.

“I haven’t touched the inside of this baby in a good 6 months. And that includes cleaning any of the garbage out of it.” Graham spends a good portion of his job on the road and eats lunch from drive-through restaurants. I told him I couldn’t imagine what the back seat looks like and he responded, “Yeah and you should see what’s puddled in my coin tray. Whatever it is, it’s congealed.”

When Graham got married each sibling was asked to give a gift along with a reason or short story explaining the nature of the gift. I gave his wife a horse shovel explaining that when Graham’s side of the room became piled so high she couldn’t find the bed, she could break out the shovel and go to town. She was young and still in the honeymoon phase of the relationship but I saw a look of terror flash in her eyes. I can’t imagine what she thinks of his car.